grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
