But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
