if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
