i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this just has baby written all over it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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