Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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