haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
