In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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