You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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