Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
