just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
