he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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