6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
