where am i from again
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
