I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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