I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
