Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
