Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
