ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
