another moral hangover. fuck.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
