Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
organizing the empties. That sober.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
