Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
