Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
