I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
