I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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