she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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