I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
