so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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