True but thats because hes a fetus.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize