i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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