I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
