I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
