Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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