You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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