and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
should my penis look like a turkey
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
