Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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