we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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