I just pynch a tree in the face
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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