I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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