a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Randomize
