I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
