i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize