Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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