Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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