Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
