those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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