I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
