Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize