just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
