we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
