I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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