One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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