Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
