i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
