similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
