Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
