I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do vagina's smell?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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