I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
