i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
