It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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