Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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