I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
