i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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