If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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