Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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